Episode 51: Sex Magic And Pussy Whispering
An interview that starts with sex magic and turns to pussy whispering, much to my surprise.
First of all, what the f*ck is sex magic?? John describes the philosophy and practice of it but it basically sounds a lot like being intentional and using language and focus to manifest something. Like “The Secret” perhaps?
John came from a repressive and born-again Christian background and some time in his late teens he turned to reading and studying as a means of comfort. This research led him to discover texts about mindset and action.
Which came first, his exploration of magic or sex?
He believes pleasure is a tool not a way of life > use pleasure, have the experience, get wisdom, bring it back to your tribe. Speaking of tribes… what is his tribe like? A mix of people who care/practice and those who have no connection whatsoever.
He also believes that magic is like love and everyone has their own definition.
Does magic ever become a fetish or kink? No, but kink is a part of it sometimes… for example, using sex or masturbation without orgasm to “charge” a sigil for use at a later time. Pain, starvation, kink etc. can also be used as a means of instilling a “charge” and then once you release the orgasm from your body, you are releasing the sigil as well.
***”Sigil” is being used as a term for a magical device to hold energy and intention for a specific purpose, and then as an aid in the release of said energy and intention towards bringing forth the outcome of your focus.
As an aside, while sex magic is fun, it takes planning and mental concentration, so John uses the term “fun” sex to refer to non-magical and spontaneous sex that occurs without aforementioned planning and concentration.
So just how important is finding a like-minded partner? Turns out that it’s pretty challenging to find someone who is not only also into sex magic, but into the specific type of sex magic that is of interest to him. And along that line, he isn’t interested in engaging with someone who requires pain to be a part of their sex magic even though he engages in activities like self-flagellation in his own practice. This boundary is the result of past abuse and is something he just won’t do. He has considered the possibility of allowing someone to apply pain to him for the purpose of gaining ownership of his abuse experience, but it would have to be with someone he trusted implicitly in that realm; hasn’t happened just yet.
Next we get into the “label” talk: is he pansexual? heterosexual? other? Turns out while he would say bicurious, and has had same-sex relations, he thinks about women while masturbating and so that’s perhaps more truthful? This leads to some discussion about the commonality of bisexual experience and fantasy about typically straight men and the reason for hesitancy in embracing that part of themselves. John speaks about it openly when asked, not because he feels safe in doing so, but because he just doesn’t give a shit anymore.
Nowwwwww we get into the other stuff he’s into, specifically GIVING ORAL SEX. In fact, he wonders if perhaps he does it too much. Wait, what? Turns out sometimes he’s on a first date and all of a sudden he finds himself going down on a woman, that he perhaps jumps into it too soon and too willing to do it without knowing someone very well.
Aside from the cunnilingus, he’s into intimacy and touching, emotional connection, etc. He would be into having larger group experiences if he had an “anchor” or someone with whom he was connected to, engaging into said activity with him… this hasn’t happened YET.
Sooooo, how did this interest begin and is he good at it? Unsurprisingly, it resulted from his religious upbringing and the idea that penetrative sex was sinning thus the oral sex was his workaround. He puts a lot of care and focus into and so he is most likely good at it because of that, also a lot of women have cum on his face so…
How did he wind up being the giver rather than receiver given how he began? Turns out he isn’t really into the receiving and was also just brought up to give rather than receive as a basic principle of living. And some self esteem stuff, i.e., he wasn’t worthy of receiving. Still to this day, he still has not cum from receiving but has from giving.
Fun fact: he once spent 2 HOURS doing it. Favorite positions? Other details about his technique? Fingers? Basically it’s mostly driven by the individual lady and her preferences - to that end, he asks the women to tell him what they want.
He’s single by the way!
Anyway! His main takeaway is approach everything with love, be it bondage, sex magic or oral sex… so do that ;)