Fuck You Blanche

Well thank God Verizon finally switched stupid people subjects to someone OTHER than “Blanche.” Have you seen “Blanche’s” commercial? First of all, she apparently pronounces it “Blaaaahhnche,” which we learn from the announcer and is so very gag-me-with-a-fucking-spoon I want to stab my eye out every time I hear it. And then! We learn that she is SO EXCITED about Apple Music which c’mon! Nobody likes Apple Music! Oh! Oh! And — very important detail here — “Blahhhhhnnnnnche” is from the rave era but loves hip hop. Thank you I can die now.