A Bat-Shit Crazy Message From A Guy I Don't Know

Here is a perfect example of the kind of nonsense women receive on the regular from complete strangers, male strangers that is…

hi hun

You are beautiful

i hope this does not come across as pervy or rude. I saw your profile and you have the most spectacular body ive ever seen

you have a body that i have been desiring for years

that may sound pervy, there was no way of writing it without it coming across as rude or crude. you are fucking gorgeous hun.

if you are not into slim irish men thats ok.

you look so fucking adorable

if i was there i wouldnt fuck you, ok ofc i would lol, i would wrap myself around you and cuddle you

im single 4 years

well its been nearly 4 years since i had a cuddle.... & sex lololol

yes its been that long, i would love to have sex & making love for me is a must, i dont do one night stands or fuck buddies as i want more than just a fuck

fuck buddies dont want love making love too, kissing and gentle touching i love, again thats why i dont do one night stands, not into just fucking, so many women now days just want to fuck and nothing else

yes, cuddle and watch a movie, add some chinese food to that & its the perfect night in loll

just so you know hun im very very filthy minded and quite fucking perverted,i like being perverted, it makes the other person enjoy our sex so much more

i love making love too, but im not into normal boring sex, i like to have perverted sex, sex that arouses every part of you

im a pervert

aslong as we are both enjoying it is what matters, my ex was just as perverted as me, we did everything and i mean fucking everything, but we both felt loved & wanted when we fucked eachother, the fucking things i did to her

uggggghhh i shouldnt be saying all this, i almost started writing something about rimming you, but dunno if you like your bumhole licked, you have no idea how much i love rimming, ok now i AM sounding like a weirdo

im an amateur astronomer, gamer, love history, love 80s music & movies, i dont drink, i love coffee and cake, i talk alot as you know, i work as a landscaper, i love tv shows

now im making myself sound so fucking boring

you have no idea how fucking perfect you are for me, i really mean that, i would worship and adore you and if i lived there i would ask you out, then say after 30 dates, id touch you, god id fucking touch you

i would do everything to you

i would do anything to make sure your pussy is exhausted & satisfied, by using my cock, mouth & hands, fuck it, ill use my whole body lol

one of my biggest desires would be making you cum, it arouses me, knowing i made you climax and feeling your body as you cum or kissing you as you cum is something i truly love, im not happy until your pussy is sore and utterly satisfied

there has been times when i didnt get off, times i didnt even take my cock out, i love giving oral and rimming, i would be so content giving you oral for a few hours and at the end of it all you want to do is cuddle, thats fine by me, knwoing that you are satisfied is what satisfies me.

for stuff ive done, i love slut play in the bed room, i love piss, i love drinking it, not my own, id want yours, id eat your pussy as you piss, love rope binding, orgasm torture, rope binding, spanking & flogging, bruise your bum & tits if you want me to

love sloppy kissing during sex, the sloppier the better, i would love to suck on your tongue, never had my bum rimmed or fingered or pegged but want to be, love public fucking & public fingering, love a very wet messy pussy, id want your pussy juice all over my body, love dressing up, ive done fantasy rape play, not really into poo play, but have done it, took part in a lesbian gangbang, well i didnt fuck any of them, i watched, the gangbang was for my ex

i love making love as i said, also love very hard fucking too, love throat fucking, even till you vomit, as i said hun, im a pervert

im addicted to giving oral & i love rimming a bum

i would love to rim you hun

im very verbal hun, i love talking very very dirty during sex
and when cumming, i have strong orgasms

fuck it i will write something about rimming you, see if you like it hun

if i was there right now, i would strip you naked, run my hands all over your gorgeous body, id want to feel every part of you

i would lay you face down on the bed, id kiss your neck, down your back and onto your bum

id spread your cheeks, id see that perfect bumhole, i also love a smelly bumhole, my whole body would become aroused if it was smelly.....i know for a fact that i would probably let out a long grunt after i sniff it, the animal within me would come out. im not kidding baby, this is what a bumhole does to me

you would feel me dig my fingers into your bumcheeks as i shove my face into your bum, i would push my mouth around your bumhole, id suck it to get it to relax, then i would forcefully push my tongue into it

your bumhole would be in my mouth....id even bite down around it.......i would continue to suck & lick your hole, widening it so i get my tongue in even further

i would be eating your bumhole like a crazed animal, my mouth would be clamped onto you, it would not be gentle licking, it would be aggressive mouth fucking, you would hear me make noises as i very enjoyably eat your bumhole.

it would not just be a 5 minute rim, it would be a 2 hour mouth fuck, the more i eat your hole the more i fucking devour it

i know im very good at rimming, when i say good, i mean very fucking good, if your bum was smelly, im not saying you have a smelly bum, but if it was, well lets just say that your bumhole would experience things never done it before

after 2 hours of me violating your bumhole with my mouth, it would be bruised by my fingers digging in to your cheeks, your cheeks would also have bite marks from me biting down as a new way of arousal sweeps through me, then i would fuck it with my dick that stinks of pre-cum

you have no fucking idea baby what your bum would do to me

yes id be obsessed with your bum, i always would be, cos i will molest it every fucking chance i get

my cock has been throbbing while i was writing that, my boxers soaked with precum lol and i hope u didnt mind the part about your smelly bum, i have a huge scent fetish and i love licking and sniffing a smelly bum turns me into an animal hun, its the scent of arousal, i love eating a smelly bum sorry

i love rimming, i fucking love giving oral, i think you know that now lol, there is so many things im into

hope i didnt say too much lol, but baby, i would trade all that in just to cuddle and talk with you

fuck me you are beautiful, i dunno if i should send this as its way too long

im just gona finish my coffee and have another smoke, that one burnt out lol

anyway, i just wanted to say that xx i hope i hear from you, if i dont, ill know why

Are you fucking kidding me? “I hope I hear from you, if I don’t, I’ll know why” — will you??? To send a message like this to someone you don’t know, whom you’ve only seen in obscured photos, demonstrates a lack of self awareness and connection to reality that is both revolting and dangerous. Hard pass asshole.