April 2019
No Partner Sex This Week :( April 1, 2019
While a fourth date is still on the books, it looks like there will be no sexy times for the Brianne and previously mentioned new partner. Scheduling variables have resulted in the nixing of an overnight event but also the extension of getting-to-know-you-as-a-person-time so there’s some good with the bad [disappointing].
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Talking ‘Bout Feelings, April 2, 2019
The dating planning continues for all those following along on this saga [i.e., dates 4 & 5 are on the calendar]. But in other news, my heart was warmed by this story of a teacher who uses a whiteboard and Post-its to establish dialogues with her students about their mental health. Honesty, Post-its, feelings — sigh, these are a few of my favorite things.
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Sexytimes IRL, April 3, 2019
Sayyyy did I mention the sex event I’m hosting? It’s been mentioned it on the podcast but perhaps you’re here for the SFW vanilla material and don’t have any inkling as to what I’m talking about? Well too bad for you, there’s a whole filthy world you’re missing! Anyway! Yours truly is taking the destigmatization of sex to heart and bringing some real-life folks to come [cum] together IRL as a first step in expanding beyond the invisible walls of the interwebs. 10 days to go and counting…
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Show Us Some Skin, April 4, 2019
Given that the deadline for our current call for submissions about SKIN is TOMORROW, I figured I’d share this article on ELLE about the new trend in YouTube videos using microscopes to get way up in the messy details of pores and makeup and whatnot. Some of the clips listed are grosser than others, but at least the portions documenting the magnified findings are authentic so I like that!
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Poisoned Or Just Foolish, April 5, 2019
Well, I may have just poisoned myself. Every morning I take 5 different pills at the same time: Synthroid, birth control, potassium, vitamin D3 and magnesium. Right now I have a weird pain in the center of my torso and I’m very hot and uncomfortable as if I just took a bunch of niacin. Yeah yeah it’s probably not the wisest thing to take all those things at once, but I have a hard enough time remembering to take them at all. I’ll just hope for the best and assume I got a hot pill. We’ll see what happens tomorrow.
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Ending On A High Note, April 6, 2019
I survived my self-poisoning. I also got cancelled on by two different potential podcast guests so that was unpleasant. Things improved dramatically by late evening though — I had a bitchin omelette at Caffe Reggio and met a random lady who wants to discuss sex research, cultural disruption and fetish stuff, what could be better than that?
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Not-Good Adulting, April 7, 2019
I’ve eaten an unfortunate amount of vegan ice cream in the last three days. Such is the result of keeping hours and commitments that prohibit normal grocery shopping and settling instead for a run to the frozen foods section of a drugstore and happening upon a crazy deal on cashew milk frozen desserts. I regret nothing and everything.
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Even Less-Good Adulting, April 8, 2019
I’m behind on a big project I’ve committed to doing… for free. I feel awful about it, the work nags at me constantly and yet I haven’t finished. I just got a “checking in” voicemail — the absolute worst kind — and now I have guilt stomach. I try to think about the idea that work-for-hire can be cheap, fast or good: you can have two of those things but never all three. What I’m trying to say is I’m justifying how awesome I believe the project will be by clinging to the notion that “fast” wasn’t part of the deal.
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Finally! April 9, 2019
Last night I found a pitch I wrote in November of 2017, the first time I managed to articulate the vision I had for a place where all content, sexual and otherwise, lives together happily for all to enjoy. [I’m reshooting the pitch/idea part of my crowdfunding video in this next week so this is a big deal] Turns out all this GRAPHICPAINT stuff is connected to sex, who knew right? But seriously, it’s only been since January of this year that I realized I’d been circling something that’s been on my mind for a very long time.
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Taxes, Fucking Taxes, April 10, 2019
Is anyone else out there still procrastinating on their taxes? Jesus Christ I can’t remember the last time I waited so long. Ok to be fair I did attempt to get an appointment with my tax guy in March but he was already booked solid. Now I’m in a first-come-first-serve race for early tomorrow morning. Also seriously considering just bearing the consequences of filing late…
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FML, April 11, 2019
I’ve been awake since 5:30am and at my accountant’s office since 7am and I am fucking miserable right now. Jesus Christ TAXES ARE THE WORST. Ok things are especially awful right now because I’ve been living off of withdrawals from my retirement accounts and the holder of the accounts is experiencing technical meltdowns and none of their [my] forms are available. I’m simultaneously on hold and live chatting and waiting for faxes and things are still not fixed and I want to cry. Also I really have to pee.
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It’s Me! April 12, 2019
Well look who finally got their taxes done! It’s me!! It was extra fun because I found out I owe about $11,000 between state and federal — actually that sucks but I was worried it was going to be more like $20K so I came out on top? Anyway! The relief of that burden being lifted is sweeeeeet. Now I’m just putting finishing touches on plans for tomorrow’s social masturbation party. The good times just keep on coming ;)
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NYC People In An Emergency Are The Best, April 13, 2019
On my train ride home last night, a man had a grand mal seizure right in front of me. It was a terrifying thing to see; the person fell from his seat to the floor, shaking and clutching and everyone immediately surrounding him momentarily too stunned to act. But then everyone did. This was near 2am and everyone in the car stopped what they were doing; a handful of people got him onto his side and held him. Someone else gathered all his belongings, another went to a different car to get the conductor. It took about 15 minutes for medical help to arrive, by that time he had stopped seizing and was breathing but unconscious. And still every single person in the car remained focused on him; everyone turned his way and no longer lost in their phones. It was scary, and also very moving. A total stranger held his hand and kneeled behind him right up until the paramedics took him away.
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Social Masturbation Party, April 14, 2019
So that social masturbation party happened last night... and it was fucking awesome. For an activity that wasn’t even my idea, I really took to it. I had feared stage fright, performance anxiety and the like and yet… I managed to cum more than half a dozen times during, and then another four times after everyone had left because the memory of it still turned me on so much. Not my typical Saturday night plan, but maybe it should be.
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Adulting So Hard, April 15, 2019
Aside from continuing to avoid doing laundry, I’ve adulted pretty hard over the last few days. There was the very adult gathering I hosted, the very adult keeping of my word with regards to the very adult building of a website for a family member anddddd, ok I guess that’s all but still… Anyway, off to continue being adult-responsible and show up for my Monday commitments.
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About Medicaid… April 16, 2019
I am slowly learning about the joys of Medicaid. Is that sarcasm you detect? Perhaps! Anyway, right now I’m being schooled in the many ins and outs of managing prescriptions. And also that brand-name birth control is not covered. Anyone out there have firsthand experience with generic Lo Loestrin Fe? Of all the things to skimp on, it seems like hormones would be a bad idea but maybe that’s just me.
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Salt Your Cake, April 17, 2019
Yesterday I baked a fudgy load/cake mix from Trader Joe’s that has prompted a very important discovery… The finished product, while delicious and surprisingly moist, needed a little something more. Well that something was salt — yesterday I sprinkled some on top and I just tasted a piece that marinated all night and hot damn! It’s perfect. A mildly sweet cake with a perfectly salted top layer. I’m a genius!
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Arty And Cultured Stuffs, April 18, 2019
It’s not all sex and depression naps over here, sometimes I do arty cultured things like GO TO THE THEATRE. Case in point, last night I saw “All My Sons,” compliments of someone much more arty and cultured than I. And it was pretty good! I mean, it was no gang bang but still, pretty good. Anyway, I’m overdue for a depression nap.
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At Least There Are No Debtor Prisons, April 19, 2019
I got served with a second consumer debt lawsuit today. My financials have been a delicate mess since leaving the golden handcuffs of my last job so this is is not unsurprising but it is certainly unpleasant. Nevertheless, I will soldier on and wrangle with the remains of my non-liquid assets to become solvent. I am so looking forward to the eventual day; I’ve never been without debt in sobriety. What a relief to be completely free from the financial burden of my former life and finally able to leave the past in the past.
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I Remember A Time Before This Day Meant Anything, April 20, 2019
Smoking trees today? Not I my dears — I’ll be wishing my sister a happy birthday and taking a nap. Also I started a Whole30 bout and I’m starving. Seriously I have been hungry since I started and it’s awful.
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I Am Surviving And Making Mayo! April 21, 2019
l’m three days into the Whole30 thingamajig and maybe coming down with carb flu? It’s going pretty well otherwise, mostly because aside from the allowance of fruit, the no dairy/sugar/alcohol thing is already pretty aligned with how I normally eat. I am occasionally really good about the no grain thing too but over the last few months that restriction has gone completely out the window and I’ve been indulging like there’s a no-white-starch-tomorrow. Which it turns out was exactly the case cuz here we are! Anyway, I made my own Whole30-compliant mayo last night for what is possibly the most tasty batch of egg salad that’s ever existed.
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Dreaming And Manifesting? April 22, 2019
Yesterday I dreamt of someone and then they reached out not too long after I woke up. Even mentioned that I came into their head just before they fell asleep the night before. It was a pleasant dream, moments of being side by side with this person while in conversation with another, some flirtations, but mostly contentment and subtle physical contact.
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Roadshow85 Is Maybe Best Thing Since Bread, April 23, 2019
Best surprise ever: coming across a written review for SEX COMMUNICATION on iTunes last night. It’s not easy making new content each week and throwing it out into the void, constantly wondering if anyone is even listening or what will come of it — this find really warmed my heart and lifted my spirit. So thank you Roadshow85, whoever you are.
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Sexy Work, April 24, 2019
The more steps I take to make sex, and all things related to it, a part of my business plans, the more I think about the origins of my interest. Someone asked me the other night how my approach to sexuality began; the energy and the thoughts have been there since my earliest memories so the answer is birth? It’s always been a fascination, a source of enjoyment and curiosity… later in college I began exploring it through work and creative projects. And now here I am working towards building an empire out of sharing about sex! I would have never imagined this is what I’d be doing professionally but at the same time it all makes perfect sense.
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Surviving The Whole30, April 25, 2019
Tomorrow will be one week of doing the Whole30 thingamajig and it’s been just fine. Though I keep dreaming about accidentally eating bread and stuff which is weird, like oops! I fell and ate an entire cake oh well! The best part so far is how much my appetite has decreased. I’m a big eater, always have been, and now I’m not only without cravings for sweets and carbs, but without the inclination to eat very much at all. Anyway, last night I made some turkey scramble thing with sweet potatoes and set the leftovers on the stove to cool; I later come to find one of my cats lying on an oven mitt patiently watching the covered pan. Why?? Did he really think the lid would fall off and he could eat everything? Oh that Harvey Rumplethorpe…
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Sex Work Is Work, April 26, 2019
What would my world look like if sex was my income-generating profession? Not in a I’m-selling-my-body-for-money way, which is just fine, but in a sex-related-activities-are-my-daily-work-and-means-of-cash-generation. Yes, yes, there’s already the sex-media stuff that’s going on here and behind the scenes, but I’m talking about events — workshops and parties and conferences and talks and demos and? Delicious food for thought…
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Letting Go Of The Big Stuff, April 27, 2019
So I’m getting an official roommate as of next week and that means a purge of belongings — furniture, junk, unsorted paperwork, miscellany — I must be ruthless. Stay tuned as I’ll probably be posting pics of the big stuff I’m letting go. Spring cleaning I guess?
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Enabling, April 28, 2019
I can’t remember the last Sunday I took off even though that used to be my jam. Between a late volunteer commitment every week, and the “How I Got Off” episodes, it’s been tough to find a day to rest properly. But I’m trying today. Admittedly I am making this update from my bed and I think I’m going to sleep a bit more before recording. Handheld technology is amazing and awful.
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Soooo Gassy Girl, April 30, 2019
It’s been 11 days on this Whole30 thing and I’m not fixed! Also I’m gassy. Like, really really gassy. And sleeping more than usual which I didn’t anticipate. Anyway! I’ve had a much easier time sticking with it that I thought; given the carb-loading binge I was on before starting I thought the withdrawals would be intense but nah. Also it’s cheaper at the grocery store buying mostly vegetables so that’s a plus.